I am "Yogi" Bear

Next time I go to Yoga I am taking a note pad or a tape recorder because some of the stuff the teachers spew could be as classic as  Tina Fey's " I can see Alaska from my house." The trouble is I can never remember it I so want to share.  In front of me today was clearly a Yogi  that works full time in   Cirque de Sole. I felt like the opening act Cirque De Yogi Bear.   (People that practice Yoga are called Yogi's-  I have not referred to myself in this fashion as of yet.)

In yoga it is clear to me that I must be honest with my self. You have to push yourself enough to get a good work out but not so hard you cause permanent damage. You have to respect the warnings your body gives you  and not be competitive with the 10 year old Olympic athlete next to you. Today my a back  said " get behind the yellow caution tape or I will not be responsible for the pain you will feel next."  It was serious and sounded German. It says this by various "zings and zaps" tingling in my lower back at the pace of the light show in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind. " You know at the end of the light and music exchange with the aliens. Bum bum bum bum bum faster and faster until I get sort of stuck bent over unable to arise in a ballerina like motion. I lift my upper body more like a baby camel getting up for the first time. Rather clumsily. The look on my face equals the awkwardness of my "un-balarina"  like moves. Then I noticed that I forgot to take off my mascara and it had melted into a sort of Alice Cooper thing. I was pretty.  But I was doing it and I am still proud of myself.

2 perfect food days and I have not used a credit card. I am so curious what the scale is going to say on Thursday. Will it be " hmm I can see  you cheated on Saturday and Sunday for your punishment you take two steps backward, lose a turn and gain 2 pounds" or will it say " you made some great choices you are really doing this right - minus 2 pounds!"   I have no idea.  Will I have to go back to the drawing board or will I get to pat myself on the back. Today the scale gave me a little "F-U" But I am a savvy dieter and know that over the next couple days I can  cheat fate by being perfect! I will let you know.

About fashion, I love it and I love clothes- weird for a fat chick but I have some tricks. I have never  ever met a guy while wearing any kind of bathing suit. Something about the white skin and big bones. I tried to tan but the Irish side has taken ownership of any and all pigment. The best I can hope for is varying red hues. So any Summer romance had to start in Winter or early Spring at the latest. I look best in a sweater and have always done better with the Dudes in the seasons that  the sweater makes an appearance. You have no idea how pleased I am that leggings are back in. Sweaters leggings and boots oh my. Bring on the Fall.   This outfit is also the best to lose weight in,  it can accommodate a wide variety of sizes without falling down or looking like you are wearing 90's grunge.   Note although I am not trying to meet anyone any more and I do not dress to meet men  I do like to flirt.

One more thing, why the hell am I doing this and what is the expectation?  I think it is important to orient myself to time and place from time to time in order to stay focused and not get lost.  I am still on track with my eye on ridding myselff of years of padding that has accumulated due to mindless eating and a sedentary life style. I am also on a quest to reduce my debt so I  so I so I?? So I have more money to spend ! I mean save. I will do this by not buying anything with a credit card and by following a structured payment schedule I developed  called  "operation no more living paycheck to paycheck!"  As far as expectation- I will never be a anything smaller than a size 8 so as far as Hollywood and New York are concerned I am a plus size model citizen.  Good thing I live in SF and never plan on moving!   The debt expectationns are as follows by June 2012 I will have paid down all department store credit cards and in the year to follow I will attack my car and Visa bill. The house mortgage is not part of this, that I will pay forever. During  phase 2 ( visa...)  I will be attempting to maintain my weight. When I am 50 I will be mostly debt free and quite hot.  The reward as of now is a shopping spree just because  that is what I like to do maybe I can change it to a trip. But if it is a trip I will need clothes so  it might be prudent to do the shopping spree reward.