So I keep on changing the name of the blog, can't find a funny name that I am pleased with. I will keep changing it until I am happy because who the hell cares!?
Daily weight fluctuations are one of the most frustrating elements of weight loss Some times there is no reason for a 2 lb gain. None that you can remember anyway. Little things might give an indication what the scale will say, tight rings means water retention could be a couple pounds, haven't pooped depending how long could be a few pounds, drank a bottle of wine 3 LBs. These are all variables that could make one want to just jump on and demolish the scale. Drinking can screw with weight for 2-3 days all due to water weight gain. I am thinking it is just not worth it, the drinking that is. This all might come down to leaving Jenny Craig for AA! I have been down that route in my 20's and lets just say I lost a lot of weight just not drinking. It was a side effect of clean living. I was living on my own, pretty damn broke and not drinking. I was also a freshly divorced 27 year old with a few insurance company jobs varying in "horribleness" and a band that was gigging all the time. It was the best of times and the worst of times. I weighed 55 lbs less than I do right now I was single and a singer in a rock and roll band. It was fun and horrible. Divorce is a great for the waist line but tough to recover from emotionally. I felt good but still worried about my weight and was also trying to be tan and blond. I have given up on being blond and tan and went back to what "God" intended as far as color scheme goes.
It is very interesting that everyone I know has an opinion about my hair color and for once in my life I could give a shit what people think I should do with my hair. That is a gift of being in my 40's. I do not mind being in my 40's I do not yearn to be younger because believe it of not I enjoy being a little more mature or wiser. I think I just changed the subject in order to stop talking about drinking! Quick look over here and forget all about the drinking thing. Not ready to tackle that yet. Once a week is the goal until I grow up a bit more. OK?
So in case you have not guessed everything was fine last night until the mail came. A huge package with all Jack's incorporation things came so we ended up celebrating. There was a really cool stamp thingy to emboss "things" with some sort of official seal. Very fancy for a plumber and very Martha Stewart. The best part is that no one can take our house if he "f's" up! It is a huge reason to celebrate. His cousin and friend came over and the next thing I knew I was munching on chips and salsa and sipping (sipping!) on a bottle of fantastic Chardonnay. I am not hung over and for my punishment I have already done the laundry, changed my sheets, did the dishes and battled the dog hair on the hard wood floors. Also the scale served as Priest as I was 1 lb more than yesterday. Time to move on stay positive and get moving. I was not going to write this down I did not want to tell anyone but I am a good catholic (well Catholic, not really a good one , I only have one kid and do not go to church) but I am starting to look at this like confession. How many Hail Mary's shall I do????
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Teenagers- ARG!!!! and Inspiration of the granola kind
Teenagers! Enough to make you want to go into the kitchen grab a bag of chips fire up the Bloomingdale's boots sale and go nuts. I am not going to , but it seems like it might have helped when I was running wild with no self control. I am finding comfort in this blog, I am. It feels better just writing it out. This really might make the difference.
Being a cab driver and shuttling the little miss to her various commitments with no appreciation and tons of disrespect makes me so up tight. The things that come out of her mouth would be punishable by death when I was a kid. The kid has balls and I think she needs to be fixed. Life is hard especially when you have a disability and being strong is an attribute but when it turns on you it is the most stressful time of my week. We are now in different rooms and it is quiet.
Feeling better now...taking a deep breath!
So today was opening day at her Wheel Chair basketball club. The bad- I brought 3 dozen donuts, the good, I did not eat a one. This sort of sneaked up on me. It is way easier to find bulk junk than bulk health food at 8am Saturday morning. I knew there would be, and thank God , for the plentiful fruit brought by the good Moms. I did see the good Mom's enjoying the donuts! My blood sugar was at a sustainable level for the hell ride home. Hunger's number one sign is being cranky. If I went into the teenage torment cruise without water melon I may have landed the car in the Bay! I kept my calm and everyone is home safe.
I was inspired today (before I went to teenage hell) I saw one of the older Moms (older than me) Her son is grown and she looked fantastic. She was fit and smiling and had a glow to her. She got out on the court to scrimmage in wheel chair basketball and did it with a huge smile on her face. You could tell her inner beauty really shined right through her smile and easy going nature. Mostly she looked fit. I think she is around 60 and I thought her hot. I want to be a hot active 60 year old, in 14 years! I hope to look as good as she did when I am 50. She was natural, no make up, no fancy clothes. We were in Berkeley. I think you know the type. I do not know that I could ever be "granola" but I do admire the results.
Next time plan a healthy thing to bring for everyone, get out on the court myself and crank Lady Gaga on the way home !
Being a cab driver and shuttling the little miss to her various commitments with no appreciation and tons of disrespect makes me so up tight. The things that come out of her mouth would be punishable by death when I was a kid. The kid has balls and I think she needs to be fixed. Life is hard especially when you have a disability and being strong is an attribute but when it turns on you it is the most stressful time of my week. We are now in different rooms and it is quiet.
Feeling better now...taking a deep breath!
So today was opening day at her Wheel Chair basketball club. The bad- I brought 3 dozen donuts, the good, I did not eat a one. This sort of sneaked up on me. It is way easier to find bulk junk than bulk health food at 8am Saturday morning. I knew there would be, and thank God , for the plentiful fruit brought by the good Moms. I did see the good Mom's enjoying the donuts! My blood sugar was at a sustainable level for the hell ride home. Hunger's number one sign is being cranky. If I went into the teenage torment cruise without water melon I may have landed the car in the Bay! I kept my calm and everyone is home safe.
I was inspired today (before I went to teenage hell) I saw one of the older Moms (older than me) Her son is grown and she looked fantastic. She was fit and smiling and had a glow to her. She got out on the court to scrimmage in wheel chair basketball and did it with a huge smile on her face. You could tell her inner beauty really shined right through her smile and easy going nature. Mostly she looked fit. I think she is around 60 and I thought her hot. I want to be a hot active 60 year old, in 14 years! I hope to look as good as she did when I am 50. She was natural, no make up, no fancy clothes. We were in Berkeley. I think you know the type. I do not know that I could ever be "granola" but I do admire the results.
Next time plan a healthy thing to bring for everyone, get out on the court myself and crank Lady Gaga on the way home !
Friday, September 9, 2011
OOPs wear reading glasses while reading labels!
Obstacle of the week- a big time cold. Tough to be active when you feel like crap. I did eat my Jenny Craig food and stayed in bed a couple days. After a weekend that could have created a frustrating weigh in session I made a good recovery by sticking with the plan. I did delay the "weigh" day by one day so as not to infect my weight loss counselor. It worked out OK for a Holiday week mixed with a huge cold I still managed to lose exactly one pound for a grand total of 11.8 pounds in 5 weeks. Right on track. This week I am hoping for a 2-3 pound week. Well. I always hope for that. It seems it goes big week little week. Not so many challenges this wee so I am hopeful. So once I have some energy, I am back to work, the yoga studio and back on my bike. Not feeling like partying this weekend but you never know when that feeling will kick in. Meal on my own tonight is stuffed mushroom and raw tuna (Poki') YUMMY
So the stupid thing of the week. Misread a label. Instead of eating a 120 calorie yogurt I enjoyed the hell out of a 230 calorie Greek style yogurt. It was so damn good then I read the label again and almost barfed. Not really. Jack was kind enough to buy yogurt for me and what he saw was the fat calories. I ate the first one yesterday just finished the second. I even text him that it was the best yummy yogurt I have ever had , and that is, because it was full of fat! AHHH!!! Those calories should not count as I did not mean to eat them I should get some sort of "do-over" This is frustrating. I do not think an error of the yogurt kind will end me but it does piss me off! I could have had real ice cream for those calories!
I was watching TV because I am sick and there was a commercial for a pregnancy test that said " your body knows you're pregnant before you do!" They are trying to say that me and my body are 2 different entities and that body is hip to things before I am. My body knows things before my brain does? Evolution should work on this. They may have a point. My body knew about the extra yogurt calories before I did. The extra calories were stored long before my brain reread the label and freaked out. This is kind of tripping me out. Why can't we, me and my body become one, maybe a little communication?
So if "we" are two separate entities I will use this analogy. I feel a bit like a renter. I am a tenant in this big old broken down log cabin and I want to move or renovate into a sleek modern contemporary condo. A tall challenge. So I went from being 2 entities into different architecture metaphors. NyQuil is a potent drug.
This is getting weird I am going to go back to bed now right after I feed the dogs the rest of the best yogurt I have ever had.
This is a slow process and I hate it.
So the stupid thing of the week. Misread a label. Instead of eating a 120 calorie yogurt I enjoyed the hell out of a 230 calorie Greek style yogurt. It was so damn good then I read the label again and almost barfed. Not really. Jack was kind enough to buy yogurt for me and what he saw was the fat calories. I ate the first one yesterday just finished the second. I even text him that it was the best yummy yogurt I have ever had , and that is, because it was full of fat! AHHH!!! Those calories should not count as I did not mean to eat them I should get some sort of "do-over" This is frustrating. I do not think an error of the yogurt kind will end me but it does piss me off! I could have had real ice cream for those calories!
I was watching TV because I am sick and there was a commercial for a pregnancy test that said " your body knows you're pregnant before you do!" They are trying to say that me and my body are 2 different entities and that body is hip to things before I am. My body knows things before my brain does? Evolution should work on this. They may have a point. My body knew about the extra yogurt calories before I did. The extra calories were stored long before my brain reread the label and freaked out. This is kind of tripping me out. Why can't we, me and my body become one, maybe a little communication?
So if "we" are two separate entities I will use this analogy. I feel a bit like a renter. I am a tenant in this big old broken down log cabin and I want to move or renovate into a sleek modern contemporary condo. A tall challenge. So I went from being 2 entities into different architecture metaphors. NyQuil is a potent drug.
This is getting weird I am going to go back to bed now right after I feed the dogs the rest of the best yogurt I have ever had.
This is a slow process and I hate it.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I am "Yogi" Bear
Next time I go to Yoga I am taking a note pad or a tape recorder because some of the stuff the teachers spew could be as classic as Tina Fey's " I can see Alaska from my house." The trouble is I can never remember it I so want to share. In front of me today was clearly a Yogi that works full time in Cirque de Sole. I felt like the opening act Cirque De Yogi Bear. (People that practice Yoga are called Yogi's- I have not referred to myself in this fashion as of yet.)
In yoga it is clear to me that I must be honest with my self. You have to push yourself enough to get a good work out but not so hard you cause permanent damage. You have to respect the warnings your body gives you and not be competitive with the 10 year old Olympic athlete next to you. Today my a back said " get behind the yellow caution tape or I will not be responsible for the pain you will feel next." It was serious and sounded German. It says this by various "zings and zaps" tingling in my lower back at the pace of the light show in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind. " You know at the end of the light and music exchange with the aliens. Bum bum bum bum bum faster and faster until I get sort of stuck bent over unable to arise in a ballerina like motion. I lift my upper body more like a baby camel getting up for the first time. Rather clumsily. The look on my face equals the awkwardness of my "un-balarina" like moves. Then I noticed that I forgot to take off my mascara and it had melted into a sort of Alice Cooper thing. I was pretty. But I was doing it and I am still proud of myself.
2 perfect food days and I have not used a credit card. I am so curious what the scale is going to say on Thursday. Will it be " hmm I can see you cheated on Saturday and Sunday for your punishment you take two steps backward, lose a turn and gain 2 pounds" or will it say " you made some great choices you are really doing this right - minus 2 pounds!" I have no idea. Will I have to go back to the drawing board or will I get to pat myself on the back. Today the scale gave me a little "F-U" But I am a savvy dieter and know that over the next couple days I can cheat fate by being perfect! I will let you know.
About fashion, I love it and I love clothes- weird for a fat chick but I have some tricks. I have never ever met a guy while wearing any kind of bathing suit. Something about the white skin and big bones. I tried to tan but the Irish side has taken ownership of any and all pigment. The best I can hope for is varying red hues. So any Summer romance had to start in Winter or early Spring at the latest. I look best in a sweater and have always done better with the Dudes in the seasons that the sweater makes an appearance. You have no idea how pleased I am that leggings are back in. Sweaters leggings and boots oh my. Bring on the Fall. This outfit is also the best to lose weight in, it can accommodate a wide variety of sizes without falling down or looking like you are wearing 90's grunge. Note although I am not trying to meet anyone any more and I do not dress to meet men I do like to flirt.
One more thing, why the hell am I doing this and what is the expectation? I think it is important to orient myself to time and place from time to time in order to stay focused and not get lost. I am still on track with my eye on ridding myselff of years of padding that has accumulated due to mindless eating and a sedentary life style. I am also on a quest to reduce my debt so I so I so I?? So I have more money to spend ! I mean save. I will do this by not buying anything with a credit card and by following a structured payment schedule I developed called "operation no more living paycheck to paycheck!" As far as expectation- I will never be a anything smaller than a size 8 so as far as Hollywood and New York are concerned I am a plus size model citizen. Good thing I live in SF and never plan on moving! The debt expectationns are as follows by June 2012 I will have paid down all department store credit cards and in the year to follow I will attack my car and Visa bill. The house mortgage is not part of this, that I will pay forever. During phase 2 ( visa...) I will be attempting to maintain my weight. When I am 50 I will be mostly debt free and quite hot. The reward as of now is a shopping spree just because that is what I like to do maybe I can change it to a trip. But if it is a trip I will need clothes so it might be prudent to do the shopping spree reward.
In yoga it is clear to me that I must be honest with my self. You have to push yourself enough to get a good work out but not so hard you cause permanent damage. You have to respect the warnings your body gives you and not be competitive with the 10 year old Olympic athlete next to you. Today my a back said " get behind the yellow caution tape or I will not be responsible for the pain you will feel next." It was serious and sounded German. It says this by various "zings and zaps" tingling in my lower back at the pace of the light show in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind. " You know at the end of the light and music exchange with the aliens. Bum bum bum bum bum faster and faster until I get sort of stuck bent over unable to arise in a ballerina like motion. I lift my upper body more like a baby camel getting up for the first time. Rather clumsily. The look on my face equals the awkwardness of my "un-balarina" like moves. Then I noticed that I forgot to take off my mascara and it had melted into a sort of Alice Cooper thing. I was pretty. But I was doing it and I am still proud of myself.
2 perfect food days and I have not used a credit card. I am so curious what the scale is going to say on Thursday. Will it be " hmm I can see you cheated on Saturday and Sunday for your punishment you take two steps backward, lose a turn and gain 2 pounds" or will it say " you made some great choices you are really doing this right - minus 2 pounds!" I have no idea. Will I have to go back to the drawing board or will I get to pat myself on the back. Today the scale gave me a little "F-U" But I am a savvy dieter and know that over the next couple days I can cheat fate by being perfect! I will let you know.
About fashion, I love it and I love clothes- weird for a fat chick but I have some tricks. I have never ever met a guy while wearing any kind of bathing suit. Something about the white skin and big bones. I tried to tan but the Irish side has taken ownership of any and all pigment. The best I can hope for is varying red hues. So any Summer romance had to start in Winter or early Spring at the latest. I look best in a sweater and have always done better with the Dudes in the seasons that the sweater makes an appearance. You have no idea how pleased I am that leggings are back in. Sweaters leggings and boots oh my. Bring on the Fall. This outfit is also the best to lose weight in, it can accommodate a wide variety of sizes without falling down or looking like you are wearing 90's grunge. Note although I am not trying to meet anyone any more and I do not dress to meet men I do like to flirt.
One more thing, why the hell am I doing this and what is the expectation? I think it is important to orient myself to time and place from time to time in order to stay focused and not get lost. I am still on track with my eye on ridding myselff of years of padding that has accumulated due to mindless eating and a sedentary life style. I am also on a quest to reduce my debt so I so I so I?? So I have more money to spend ! I mean save. I will do this by not buying anything with a credit card and by following a structured payment schedule I developed called "operation no more living paycheck to paycheck!" As far as expectation- I will never be a anything smaller than a size 8 so as far as Hollywood and New York are concerned I am a plus size model citizen. Good thing I live in SF and never plan on moving! The debt expectationns are as follows by June 2012 I will have paid down all department store credit cards and in the year to follow I will attack my car and Visa bill. The house mortgage is not part of this, that I will pay forever. During phase 2 ( visa...) I will be attempting to maintain my weight. When I am 50 I will be mostly debt free and quite hot. The reward as of now is a shopping spree just because that is what I like to do maybe I can change it to a trip. But if it is a trip I will need clothes so it might be prudent to do the shopping spree reward.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Why is there no Jenny Craig Osso Bucco?
Home! This weekend at my Sister's cabin I felt like a bit of a loser with my Jenny Craig food. This morning my daughter wanted the Canadian bacon off my sunshine sandwich and I gave it to her. Usually it is tough luck to anyone wanting to share in my JC food. I get every bite! It is mine! I think the beagle has actually lost some weight too, his begging is not working for him Progress So yhea me for sharing.
I was perfect with breakfast and lunch and kind of fell a part at dinner. I thought this might be the case. Hopefully it will balance out. No huge bacon and pancake breakfast, no hot dogs or sausages for lunch no chips and drinks came out just before dinner. Progress... It is a party weekend so I feel I was better than in the past I did not buy any cheese but was in a hurry at the grocery store and walked in not sure of what I wanted to bring in addition to the basil and potatoes my sister requested. Next time a list. Do I really have to write down carrots and hummus? I was suppose to bring a cake too and ended up buying 3 smallish cakes at Robert's Market in Woodside. To quote someone I know "too many choices in America." One was angel food with a chocolate drizzle. Angel food cake is a diet cake choice! So I am trying. I also paid cash. Only drank at cocktail hour and admittedly I drank and then forgot I was suppose to trade my potato and dessert for the booze. . Opps. Not beating myself up until I weigh in on Thursday. It is what it is. I actually got pretty hungry and ate when I was hungry. I feel OK.
A little about food. My Mother is Italian and her parents had a Restaurant in down town SF. Now it is Foley's Irish Pub. My grandfathers probably rolling around in his grave as we speak. So Mom can cook. My favorite food growing up was stuffed breast of veal, the sauce from her osso bucco slathered on french bread would be my last meal if ever on death row. I did not get fat eating MacDonald's- Pizza maybe- but not domino's ( though I had to try it since the commercials promise a superior pizza now- it was alright)
Tried the Skinny Girl Margarita- quite nice 4 ounces is less than 100 calories. Quite a difference to the real thing. They have about the same amount of alcohol as a beer. But 12 ounces would be 300 calories so beer is better mathematically. I just could not do shots as the weight loss counselor suggested. I am over them for years now and that would be regressing! Plus my family would kill me. Mary on shots of any booze is a bit of a loud laughing nut that may cry at any moment.
Playing scrabble after drinking and eating JC foods makes for a game with quite an assortment of 2- 3 letter words. I lost to my daughter and my 85 year old Mother. Not my game.
The highlight of the weekend was when ,Elaine, my 13 year old, got mad at my Mom and I for not giving back her DS ( hand held video game) we had way too much fun taking pictures of ourselves and mutating them with special effects. Totally Rad! I wish we had this kind of a game when I was a kid. If you were cool you had pong if your parents failed as parents you were allowed to go to the video arcade where gangs hung out. They also hung at the bowling alley needless to say I neither bowl or play video games. For that matter I grew up in the fog where you might sneak into a near by apartment buildings pool to swim on the hot day we had. So - not a swimmer either.
Back on JC today full force and a bit tired. Bloomingdale's catalogue is in the mail box and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres tonight! I will not shop I will not shop I will not shop!!
I was perfect with breakfast and lunch and kind of fell a part at dinner. I thought this might be the case. Hopefully it will balance out. No huge bacon and pancake breakfast, no hot dogs or sausages for lunch no chips and drinks came out just before dinner. Progress... It is a party weekend so I feel I was better than in the past I did not buy any cheese but was in a hurry at the grocery store and walked in not sure of what I wanted to bring in addition to the basil and potatoes my sister requested. Next time a list. Do I really have to write down carrots and hummus? I was suppose to bring a cake too and ended up buying 3 smallish cakes at Robert's Market in Woodside. To quote someone I know "too many choices in America." One was angel food with a chocolate drizzle. Angel food cake is a diet cake choice! So I am trying. I also paid cash. Only drank at cocktail hour and admittedly I drank and then forgot I was suppose to trade my potato and dessert for the booze. . Opps. Not beating myself up until I weigh in on Thursday. It is what it is. I actually got pretty hungry and ate when I was hungry. I feel OK.
A little about food. My Mother is Italian and her parents had a Restaurant in down town SF. Now it is Foley's Irish Pub. My grandfathers probably rolling around in his grave as we speak. So Mom can cook. My favorite food growing up was stuffed breast of veal, the sauce from her osso bucco slathered on french bread would be my last meal if ever on death row. I did not get fat eating MacDonald's- Pizza maybe- but not domino's ( though I had to try it since the commercials promise a superior pizza now- it was alright)
Tried the Skinny Girl Margarita- quite nice 4 ounces is less than 100 calories. Quite a difference to the real thing. They have about the same amount of alcohol as a beer. But 12 ounces would be 300 calories so beer is better mathematically. I just could not do shots as the weight loss counselor suggested. I am over them for years now and that would be regressing! Plus my family would kill me. Mary on shots of any booze is a bit of a loud laughing nut that may cry at any moment.
Playing scrabble after drinking and eating JC foods makes for a game with quite an assortment of 2- 3 letter words. I lost to my daughter and my 85 year old Mother. Not my game.
The highlight of the weekend was when ,Elaine, my 13 year old, got mad at my Mom and I for not giving back her DS ( hand held video game) we had way too much fun taking pictures of ourselves and mutating them with special effects. Totally Rad! I wish we had this kind of a game when I was a kid. If you were cool you had pong if your parents failed as parents you were allowed to go to the video arcade where gangs hung out. They also hung at the bowling alley needless to say I neither bowl or play video games. For that matter I grew up in the fog where you might sneak into a near by apartment buildings pool to swim on the hot day we had. So - not a swimmer either.
Back on JC today full force and a bit tired. Bloomingdale's catalogue is in the mail box and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres tonight! I will not shop I will not shop I will not shop!!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Get Ready Get Set and Breath
To breath is to live. When I go into temporary hibernation for example when I am on a diet" I stop living. I isolate and just do it as long as possible like a contest of who stay under water the longest. Impossible to do for any great amount of time This can be said for when one stops drinking too. I think the trick is to keep on swimming just like the little fish Dori in Nemo. "Just keep swimming just keep swimming" is the motto for the weekend.
Woke up, did yoga, came home tended to some care giving tasks for the kid and I am almost ready to go to the cabin and visit with my fellow drinking partners also known as my family. Part of them anyway. I wish it were the entire crew. Worked out and have a plan for further activity and the menu is planned. Cheers!
Now a little note about being really tired. I found a trigger that leads directly to poor behavior of every kind. I went out Thursday night and stayed out late for me on a work night. I got around 5 hours sleep managed to get to work, which was a miracle in itself! I was the kind of tired that hurt inside and out. My eyes stung and my bones ached and I really just wanted to eat something comforting and get into bed. Could not do that because a surgeon might throw something at me if he saw me sleeping while he operated. I did note that the surgeon I worked with on Friday went to the same event I went to and exhibited his tiredness with impatience. Somehow I managed to stay away from the Chinese food in my bosses office and the various cookies and sweets that cluttered her office. I went home took a nap and layed low for the rest of the evening. I found myself checking out Bloomingdale's big Labor Day sale just to make sure my dream boots did not go on sale. I also found my self checking out Christan Louboutin shoes ( at another store) I just starred at them trying to figure out their mystery and allure. Is it the red sole that makes them special? Just might as well spray paint RICH BITCH up and down your legs because I have come to the conclusion they are just a status symbol or a trophy for being rich and thin. I do not think fat feet fit in them. Interestingly enough when I saw Allanis Morrisette in concert on Thursday she sat on a stool legs crossed singing and whaling and yodeling about every facet of love she could think of while donning a pair of purple red soled Louboutins. It bugged me the entire time. She is suppose to be about enlightenment.
I am getting lots of encouragement from people and they have been kind enough to give me tips. I will consolidate them and make a list in a blog to follow.Have a tip for eating right, a way to drink and diet and a way to shop for high quality stuff without breaking the bank- Let me know.
Going to the land of no TV or computer so my words will have to go down on paper. Thanks for reading this. .
Woke up, did yoga, came home tended to some care giving tasks for the kid and I am almost ready to go to the cabin and visit with my fellow drinking partners also known as my family. Part of them anyway. I wish it were the entire crew. Worked out and have a plan for further activity and the menu is planned. Cheers!
Now a little note about being really tired. I found a trigger that leads directly to poor behavior of every kind. I went out Thursday night and stayed out late for me on a work night. I got around 5 hours sleep managed to get to work, which was a miracle in itself! I was the kind of tired that hurt inside and out. My eyes stung and my bones ached and I really just wanted to eat something comforting and get into bed. Could not do that because a surgeon might throw something at me if he saw me sleeping while he operated. I did note that the surgeon I worked with on Friday went to the same event I went to and exhibited his tiredness with impatience. Somehow I managed to stay away from the Chinese food in my bosses office and the various cookies and sweets that cluttered her office. I went home took a nap and layed low for the rest of the evening. I found myself checking out Bloomingdale's big Labor Day sale just to make sure my dream boots did not go on sale. I also found my self checking out Christan Louboutin shoes ( at another store) I just starred at them trying to figure out their mystery and allure. Is it the red sole that makes them special? Just might as well spray paint RICH BITCH up and down your legs because I have come to the conclusion they are just a status symbol or a trophy for being rich and thin. I do not think fat feet fit in them. Interestingly enough when I saw Allanis Morrisette in concert on Thursday she sat on a stool legs crossed singing and whaling and yodeling about every facet of love she could think of while donning a pair of purple red soled Louboutins. It bugged me the entire time. She is suppose to be about enlightenment.
I am getting lots of encouragement from people and they have been kind enough to give me tips. I will consolidate them and make a list in a blog to follow.Have a tip for eating right, a way to drink and diet and a way to shop for high quality stuff without breaking the bank- Let me know.
Going to the land of no TV or computer so my words will have to go down on paper. Thanks for reading this. .
Thursday, September 1, 2011
On a little HIGH!!!
So lost 3 lbs this week for a grand total of 10.8 lbs in 4 weeks paid debt down by around 2k too! I am not counting the house just credit cards and vehicle. Going to get a massage and a blow dry and going to a concert tonight. All is well. Just a note about hair I have had the same hair guy for around 10 years I only cheat on him for blow dries! That is not cheating right?
I have to do some major planning for labor day weekend. Think I will bring JC food for breakfast and lunches and grill Saturday and Sunday night. I will walk and skip the sugar in the drinks. The weight loss counselor suggested shots! I do not do shots ,learned that in college! She said "you are going to effect right?" That got me thinking- I have no idea what I am" going for" when it comes to drinking. It is jsut what we do. when we are all together. I hate being drunk and everything that goes with it but love drinking. HMM???
I helped my daughter get ready this morning and droped the news on her that we will not be buying any new clothes for a while. I was looking in my closet and thinking about the bills and realized a lot of the debt has come from the kids closet. This did not please the spoiled child.
I am grateful for a lot. I have an amazing family a good job and great friends. I am able to go into super Mom mode when there is a need and I am healthy. If I look at everything that is hard- having aging parents, a disabled kid, debt and compulsive behavior I could get depressed. This week I will stay positive and know that the scale may stay even and that will be OK. I am human. As long as the scale does not go up in that case i will probably get frustrated and angry and will have an interesting blog about my flaws and failures. Lets face it is hard to be funny when everything is OK. Again it is the conflict, the tragedy, in our failures and everything that makes us human that makes us interesting , funny and perfect.
I have to do some major planning for labor day weekend. Think I will bring JC food for breakfast and lunches and grill Saturday and Sunday night. I will walk and skip the sugar in the drinks. The weight loss counselor suggested shots! I do not do shots ,learned that in college! She said "you are going to effect right?" That got me thinking- I have no idea what I am" going for" when it comes to drinking. It is jsut what we do. when we are all together. I hate being drunk and everything that goes with it but love drinking. HMM???
I helped my daughter get ready this morning and droped the news on her that we will not be buying any new clothes for a while. I was looking in my closet and thinking about the bills and realized a lot of the debt has come from the kids closet. This did not please the spoiled child.
I am grateful for a lot. I have an amazing family a good job and great friends. I am able to go into super Mom mode when there is a need and I am healthy. If I look at everything that is hard- having aging parents, a disabled kid, debt and compulsive behavior I could get depressed. This week I will stay positive and know that the scale may stay even and that will be OK. I am human. As long as the scale does not go up in that case i will probably get frustrated and angry and will have an interesting blog about my flaws and failures. Lets face it is hard to be funny when everything is OK. Again it is the conflict, the tragedy, in our failures and everything that makes us human that makes us interesting , funny and perfect.
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