How much should I write?

I have noticed that I am better at all of this when I write.  I am torn with writing "good material" and writing for my own growth. It seems when I am just plugging along and doing OK  there is no Funny. Why should this be about "funny"  any way?  Maybe because all the writing classes I have taken were about comedy writing? That seems an easy explanation. I also think about who  is reading this I want it to be fun. So I am now at the point where every entry can not be funny.  The thrill or honeymoon phase is over I am  almost 3 months in and 18 pounds lighter. I have paid a significant amount in debt but have also back slid a little in the shopping arena. Not shopping is harder than not eating!

Maybe this should not be about the "nots" and be about  "doing" but "doing" something else! Lost you?? I mean horse back riding instead of buying leather and eating steak. Horses instead of cows! I love farm animals analogies. Walking the dog instead of cuddling with them.  Buying veggies and fruit instead of over sized sweaters. Actually going whale watching instead of watching Whale wars on TV.  I could do more of these but I think you get the jist.

 I spoke about breath holding and drowning in other attempts at change. Walking on a tight rope not giving myself a whole lot of room for error. In the long run I land on my ass in the center ring only no one really notices. the circus tent  is empty I am hurt and there is no one there to help.  OK I am now depressed.  I have 40 or 45 more pounds to go maybe 50 if I want to go 24 year old bride or for that matter  27 year old divorced girl. I weighed the same at the beginning and end of marriage number 1. Interesting. 

Today I am having a Haloween party. I am dressing as a Irish Good Luck Charm.. Oddly enough I am serving all Italian food.  Got my sauce going. Usually at one of our parties I do not eat enough and am always chasing my wine glass. Usually  by the end of the night  I will have one in each room. Cleaning and cooking  and nervous energy, I am not too worried about today. However I have created a goal. Hydrate like crazy, actually have a meal and not graze and get back on track immediately Sunday. This cannot go 2 days!

My heel spur is killing me when it subsides I will had back to Yoga. Being barefoot kills.